Life is not fair to anyone. Some experience more heartbreaks and betrayals than others. Some have to struggle with debilitating physical or mental conditions that science still doesn’t fully understand. Even while sitting in the comfort of their home, some experience anxiety issues, turning them into drug-dependent individuals.
Towards these people that we care about, we want to help them. There are times when we try to say things to help them feel better. But unbeknownst to us, these things may actually cause them to feel worse about themselves and their situation.
Canadian medical student at the University of Sydney, Zachery Dereniowski, has been using his platform to spread anxiety and depression awareness. The 27-year-old shared a TikTok video that warns people not to use run-of-the-mill phrases that aren’t helping people facing trouble.
The motivational speaker shared seven most commonly used phrases that should never be used on people in their worst.
Getting told that ‘things happen for a reason’ really feels like saying we deserved what happened. Telling someone to ‘get over’ their feelings is actually pretty stupid because depression, anxieties, and problems are not some kind of switches we can just choose to turn off anytime we want to. In fact, they don’t know why this happened to them and want to get over it more than anyone in the world does.
Alice Boyes, who has Ph. D in psychology and wrote a number of books that help people handle anxieties wrote, “It’s best to ask someone what type of support they prefer rather than guess!”
It’s true that there are some people who’ll possibly deflect your offer of help, but that’s not the end of it. They may require “strong displays of concrete practical support” which can mean offering advices on how to manage their tasks or tips for handling fussy customers.
He also often shares on tips and explanations for people with anxiety or those whose loved ones suffer from it.
Zachery explains that people with anxiety issues have different reasons. Most of them fear rejections, which is why they tend to hesitate when they want to take actions. They fear getting left on ‘read’ when texting, they don’t want to ask for help and become a ‘burden’ or even talk about the problems they are facing.
Zachery himself was a teen with bleak future when he dropped out of college.
But now he wants to destigmatize people with mental health, often sharing tips to detect when a friend or family member is suffering from anxiety and depression. He also shared 10-part tips to help those who date people with depression understand why their partner may act or speak in a certain way.
Those who saw his videos often thank him for getting the information out. Several people would say that watching his videos has helped them get by day-to-day, and some even got the courage to find help.